Rising And Falling Stars: Chris Masters & Punxsutawney Phil
March 23rd, 2013 9:00am EDT
Rising Star* Chris Masters: How many of us can actually say we could lift an object as heavy as a tree to save someone we love?
Apparently former WWE Star Chris Masters can, and that is why he is the rising star of the week.
Masters, whose birth name is Chris Mordetzky, used his 6’5” and 265 pound frame to actually uproot a tree in order to save his mama who was trapped inside of her burning house. The story goes that apparently a deranged neighbor barricaded himself inside Chris’s mother; Diane Mordetsky’s home and refused to leave. When police threatened to break into the home, the loony-bin actually lit fire to the home, trapping Ms. Mordetsky inside. Chris, a proud mama’s boy, lifted the tree, broke down the window and was able to get inside and free his mother. All is well now, mother is safe and the neighbor was arrested.
Looks like Chris’s quick thinking, large biceps and super strength came in handy even outside of the ring. Hopefully this is a lesson learned to eat right and train hard; you never know when you are going to have to lift a tree to save your mom!
‘Where did you last see him? What was he wearing?’ The officer was hot on his tail…
‘He was in his furs and quickly scurried down a hole. I can’t seem to find him anywhere!’
He is wanted dead or alive for fraud, defamation and slander across the country. He is being called a liar; a speaker of false information and some people are going as far as to wish a heinous death upon him. This week’s falling starlet is Punxsutawney Phil. Mr. Phil is a ground hog… but not just any groundhog. He is the predictor of the weather; a meteorologist without the degree who comes out every year on February 2nd and tells the citizens of the United States how much longer winter will last...And this year he was anything but correct (so does that mean that all meteorologists should have death threatened upon them when their predictions turn out wrong? I don’t think any would ever go into the profession if that were the case…)
Punxsutawney did not see his shadow, creating a stir of excitement amongst his fans for the idea of an early spring. We all put away the shovels, hung up the ice scrapers with the excitement that the cold temperatures would quickly end and we’d hear the robins chirping soon. March 20th, the first day of spring, came and passed with nothing but cold temperatures, flurries and even the prediction of snow up to 18 inches in some areas in the upcoming week. Free Rita’s water ice and Dunkin Donuts Iced coffee to celebrate the new season, was sipped and slurped with parka’s, gloves and shivers, leaving many wondering… when will spring come and why did Punxsutawney lie?
People are up in arms…specifically those living in Ohio. A prosecutor from Butler County, Ohio actually indicted Phil for misrepresentation of an early spring (a fake indictment but if it were real, it would apparently be punishable by death!)
I guess the question is, should we keep using Mr. Phil as a source of future weather or should we have him hang up his fur and retire his shadow? Maybe his brain just isn’t as sharp anymore after 123 years of predictions (as folklore tales would say.) Can a ground hog really be trusted? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens February 2, 2014.
Photo Credits: Carrie Devorah / WENN.com; Meme compliments of Internets