'Big Brother' 15 Episode 29: 'A Blindside Most Glorious'

September 2nd, 2013 9:30am EDT

'Big Brother' 15 Episode 29 Part One: Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

Previously on Big Brother: Aaryn was evicted and then scalped on live television by the beautiful, perfect, genius Julie Chen. Amanda won her only competition and acted like a total ass about it. She tried to bully Elissa but only got laughs and a growing target. An alliance called The Exterminators, which gets rid of rats and snakes, was formed with Gina Marie, Judd, Spencer, and Mr. Rat himself, Andy.
An “egg-citing” battle. Pun-tastic.
The physical HOH continues. They have to hop like bunnies and get a bunch of eggs through a wire fence. It’s easter themed for no reason whatsoever.
Spencer laments that any one of The Exterminators need to win. Amanda wants a member of 3 A.M to get it. Andy, a full-fledged member of both alliances, is playing both sides, but leaning towards The Exterminators.


Amanda actually has a DR about choosing the more loyal Andy to keep last week, not knowing that he’s completely turned against them. That might be the week Amanda regrets the most, out of tons of regrettable weeks.
Nick mention #1!
Amanda fake apologizes to Elissa before the HOH competition because of Julie’s question to her on the live show about her bullying behavior. Amanda fully believes that Elissa simply joking that she threw the POV was “taunting” and bullying. In unrelated news, Amanda is batshit crazy.
Spencer is really bad at the HOH comp.
McCrae blames his hair for being bad at the competition. As if he can’t just pull it back like everybody will long hair in the history of time.
“I would say I was a front runner in this competition. But I’m more of a front hopper.” Andy is so not as charming as he thinks he is.
“I’m basically competing not to get that damn costume,” says Judd.
Elissa silently cheers on GM.
GM wins and is greeted with a hug by Elissa. This was for you, Nick!
Nick mention #2!
Spencer and Judd get the chicken suits.
“I don’t know why you’re so happy. You just sent her best friend home. So, wipe that smile off your face.” Amanda’s social game never ceases to amaze me. Save the cockiness for after nominations.
Amanda is certain she’s going to get Elissa on the block. These DRs are cocky and beautiful, knowing that The Exterminators have been plotting her demise for a week.


Part Two: I’m The New Bunny

Amanda can’t help herself from antagonizing Elissa. Elissa reaffirms that Aaryn would be proud of GM’s HOH win, so Amanda needs to repeat it with as much malice as possible. I wonder if she literally can’t control her hate from spewing from her mouth.
Every time Amanda mentions how happy Aaryn will be when GM sends Elissa to jury, GM changes the subject. Amanda is so used to only hearing her own voice and getting her way that she doesn’t remotely notice that there hasn’t been a single word of agreement.
“I might be blond. I might be cute. But my name isn’t Aaryn. It’s Gina Marie.” This is the only time I will ever root for GM. I still can’t wait until she finds out that she’s a racist piece of garbage.
Everybody in the house knows McCranda’s fate but they still play dumb. It’s pretty funny to see Amanda so certain, yet still manic and nonstop talking about it.
“I’m the new bunny!” Amanda is so certain that she can spend 10 weeks ignoring GM and then become her best friend in two seconds. This is too good.
Elissa and GM double cheek kiss.
“I can’t wait for them to get a taste of their own medicine. Mmmmm. Bitter.” I love Elissa.
Meanwhile, Amanda is STILL talking about Elissa.
Spencer is enjoying himself in the chicken suit, but Judd clearly wants to kill himself.
Amanda uses the old “nobody will be mad at you” strategy where you tell the HOH that you have tons of allies that could potentially come after you. It’s a dumb strategy because it’s basically saying, “I have lots of allies to propel me further into the game, while the person I want up has nobody.” You want people in the house who have nobody because it’s easier to compete against them.
“Amanda’s right. I should nominate two people who nobody would be upset about. Unfortunately for her, those two people are Amanda and McCrae.”
I love how this episode isn’t even trying to pretend that somebody else is even an option for nomination. We all know who will be on the block by the end of the episode, but it’s just so wonderful to see it happen anyway.
Who wants to see my HOH room? Not any black or Asian people, that’s for sure.
Nick mention #3! And it’s a picture. Stop feeding that addiction, Big Brother. It’s mean.
Elissa complimenting GM is “pushing” Amanda’s buttons. Seriously, she said those words. Out loud.
Elissa says she misses Aaryn. It’s awesome. It clearly makes Amanda even madder. Perfect.
Nick mention #4! He’s the star of this episode.
“Why does she think it’s okay to harass me 24/7?” Elissa asks. It’s because she lives in a world of delusion.
“You’re alone and you’re going up on the block tomorrow.” Amanda thinks she’s saying this to Elissa, but she’s saying it to herself.
Elissa starts talking about how Jessie was amazing, beautiful, the only ten in the house. It makes Amanda go crazy. She goes on an insane, mean rant. Can’t wait for her to leave.
“I’m gonna go get chocolate milk.” Spencer knows what’s up.


Part Three: She’s a Mean, Disgusting Person

“I just can’t let her sit and make threats like that.” Amanda’s brain lets her believe that she was just threatened. She might have a few screws loose.
“The sweetest revenge will be when she fucking gets nominated and goes on the block tomorrow,” Amanda says. This is TOO good. What did we do to please the BB Gods?
I love the random shot of GM dancing in her HOH robe. So random.
“I hope America see…” “WHO CARES?”
“Why was she being so mean to this poor, innocent…” Amanda, stop. You are giving us TOO MUCH GOLD. I can barely take anymore. It’s too perfect.
McCrae’s advice is for Amanda to just let Elissa make jabs at her and not say anything back. Which is exactly what Elissa does.
“You have to play the victim.” For all her life.
Andy is a little shit too. He says Elissa is egging Amanda on. Then Elissa destroys him with her logic. How was she egging Amanda on by sitting in a room with Spencer and Andy? Because she exists. That’s it!
“She’s mean and evil.” Oy. Amanda, you are blessing us today with your crazy. Plus, there are tears!
“I don’t want to fight with you but I feel like you’re antagonizing me.” Elissa just walks away. Gosh, did you see her antagonizing Amanda with her mean, evil walk? That bitch.
Judd: “Maybe you should make her a friendship bracelet.”
Amanda cries. “I feel like I’m in high school.” Spencer: “Were you a mega bitch in high school.” It’s a huge burn and she doesn’t even notice.
The worst part is everybody agreeing with her that she’s being bullied.
“I’m not a mean person.” Should that be Amanda’s twitter bio?
“I see right through you,” says GM.


Part Four: Cluckiest Man Alive

Luxury comp. There are hundreds of balloons in the house. They need to pop the balloons to find a 1, 0, and K chip to win $10k.
The popping balloon sound and feeling is the worst ever so this comp would be my nightmare.
“My strategy is to imagine that each of these balloons are Amanda’s head.” Love it, Elissa.
Spencer wins. “I’m the cluckiest man alive.” Then he complains that it takes a long while on the railroad to make 10k. Little does he know, that job is in jeopardy when he gets home.
GM shuts out Amanda from her HOH room. Judd flips her off. GM wants to pretend to be busy so she doesn’t have to hear another bitter Amanda rant.
Nick mention #5. He’s all stars material! So memorable! Out second! 15th place for life!
“Everyone will be enraged,” says Amanda about not nominating Elissa.
There she goes again with letting GM know how “influential” she is. Does anybody think this is good strategy?
People just keep calling Aaryn “Poopy” with no explanation. It’s awesome.
I feel like I could just write “Amanda thinks Elissa and Judd are going up and somebody pretends she’s right” for the next twenty minutes of footage.
“Stay tuned, America. You’re not gonna want to miss this one.” Thanks for breaking the fourth wall, Judd.
Nomination ceremony.
“I feel safe. And happy. And glorious. And triumphant.”-Amanda
Spencer talks about how unsafe he feels, like always… “Just kidding. I feel safe this week for the first time in a long time.”
“Most biggest.”-Gina Marie.
Andy and Spencer get their keys. Amanda and McCrae smile ear to ear. This is the gift that keeps on giving to the last second.
“Elissa you are safe.” Amanda and McCrae’s smiles disappear instantly.
I don’t mean to shock you guys, but Amanda and McCrae get nominated. I know! I’m surprised too!
“You guys are a huge dymanic…” “Dynamic.” “Thank you. You guys are a huge dymanic…UGH! You guys a huge power couple.”
“Everybody…was too chicken. No point intended.” Gina Marie is so stupid, dear God. It would be endearing if she didn’t spend the first 8 weeks trashing Candice and saying the worst things ever.
Amanda cries. GM calls her crazy and Elissa nods happily.
“Oh MY Goodness. It’s about time McCranda is on the block. The look on their face is, um, awesome.”
“I just don’t get it…ever since Elissa was HOH it all went haywire.” Then Amanda insults GM’s intelligence.
McCrae cries in the DR. It’s beautiful. Not so tough now, power couple, are you?

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