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'American Idol' Recap: Zoanette Is Queen Of The Girls' Jungle

February 28th, 2013 10:26am EST | Andrew Payne By: Andrew Payne

Zoanette Johnson in the Sudden Death Round of AMERICAN IDOL

Really, everything I write, and everything that happened last night, is just a prelude to Zoanette. So let's not waste any more time and get right to it.

Melinda Ademi Sang “Nobody’s Perfect” by Jessie J

Keith Said: I really loved that performance.

Nicki Said: All I could think of was Angela’s performance. I liked it. I didn’t love it.

Randy Said: I don’t know if you had enough big moments in there.

Mariah Said: I didn’t think you found your voice, but I know what you can do.

The Verdict:

So Melinda comes out in anoutfit out of an 80s aerobics class with the boots of a dominatrix and struts around the stage like she’s trying take corrective measures against scoliosis.

Her voice is basically non-present as you can’t understand what she’s saying or really hear it. Like she’s doing the Rob Brydon tiniest man in the world trapped inside a box routine and desperately trying to break out of it. She never did. It took me until the end of the song to even figure out what it was – and we just heard it last week.

Grade: D

Result: GONE

Candice Glover Sang “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” by Carole King

Keith Said: There’s something about your voice. You’re a natural singer.

Nicki Said: It boggles my brain that you didn’t make it past Vegas last year.

Randy Said: That wasn’t your best performance, but it was really good.

Mariah Said: Very nice. Very nice.