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'American Idol' Recap: Candice Crushes Kree In The Finale

May 16th, 2013 12:10pm EDT

Candice Glover performs on AMERICAN IDOL This is the finale recap that I never thought I’d write. One that didn’t include Angie. One that didn’t include the girl that was number one on my power rankings all year long.
It doesn’t feel right. It feels like this year’s victory will be tainted. Like Ang Lee’s Oscar win this year after Ben Affleck’s not getting nominated. That each of these girls should realistically be playing for second while Angie crushes them once again.
That isn’t how it turned out, and I suppose their careers will tell if that’s how it really should have happened, but, as far as I’m concerned here’s how the battle for second played out…
ROUND ONE: SIMON FULLER’S CHOICE
Kree Harrison Sang “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan
The Verdict:
I wonder why nobody bothered to wake Kree up for her performance. I mean it feels like a terrible disadvantage for Kree to be forced to sing this song while still snoozing in her hotel room. Surely this has to be some sort of rules violation to for her into somnambulism onstage.
Wait? She was actually awake? Her eyes were complete open and her body wasn’t in a state of complete slumber?
Completely confusing because that performance was about as boring as…well…a Kree performance. Even she seemed more disinterested than usual with her half flaccid arms forcibly attempting to make something resembling a human movement as not to trick the audience into thinking one of the holograms from the opening became self-aware and took over the stage.
So…yeah…so far we’re missing Angie desperately.
Grade: D
Candice Glover Sang “Chasing Pavements” by Adele
The Verdict:
Suddenly ‘Chasing Pavements’ is a 70’s Soul Ballad originally sung by Gladys Knight? Could’ve fooled me, but Candice certainly made it feel like Adele’s sad bastard ballad was meant for soul glory.
Candice didn’t feel the need to overpower the song here. No oversinging. No disconnected vocal gymnastics. No vacant Candice belting as the song plays in what may as well be another zip code.
Here she flowed easily with the melody and rhythm and for the first time actually felt like she could have written the song. Or at least had heard of the song prior to performing it onstage (which we’ve learned is a rarirty).
This wasn’t one of those big Candice blowaway roof-exploding vocals, but it didn’t need to be. And the performance was actually better for it.
Grade: B
Mariah Said: Wow. I mean really. Wow.
Randy Said: I’m not sure either of these songs were the right choice, but I gotta give the edge to Candice.
ROUND ONE: SIMON FULLER’S CHOICE
Kree Harrison Sang “All Cried Out”
The Verdict:
Let’s take a step back from actually reviewing this performance for a second (it was okay, but not great) and since this is what will ostensibly be Kree’s debut single, let’s look at her as a performer. As a recording artist. As a pop star.
Can you see it? Can you see old “I can’t make my face have an expression or move more than three inches across the stage” actually performing at anything other than a mass suicide? It just wouldn’t seem right to see her anywhere alongside the dynamic and interesting performers that, y’know, have made it in the recording industry.
Or one of her concerts. What would that be like? The audience sitting in wonder as they debate whether she’s turned into a mannequin mid-song and just begin counting people wearing green shirts because it’s more interesting than what’s happening onstage?
After this snoozer, that’s about all it would be. And the weird thing is that this was better than the first performance.
Grade: C
Candice Glover Sang “I Am Beautiful”
The Verdict:
Is there a law? Is there a rule? Is there a mandate that every single Idol single needs to be the most boring incomprehensible mind-blankingly dull piece of pop music put together?
This was clearly something submitted to Beyonce that she fell asleep during and probably fired three people for even suggesting. So dreadfully snoozy – though I guess that fits with what’s been happening on this show the last few weeks.
Candice does her best with it and she certainly sounds like a current recording artist as she attempts to overcome the melodic weight forced around her neck as this song sloughs through itself, but there’s just no overcoming the vacancy of this song.
Grade: C+
Keith Said: Wow. I think these songs were tailor made for these girls.
Nicki Said: I loved Kree’s composure and this sounded more from the gut. This song is perfect for Candice.

ROUND TWO: IDOLS’ SINGLES
Kree Harrison Sang “All Cried Out”
The Verdict:
Let’s take a step back from actually reviewing this performance for a second (it was okay, but not great) and since this is what will ostensibly be Kree’s debut single, let’s look at her as a performer. As a recording artist. As a pop star.
Can you see it? Can you see old “I can’t make my face have an expression or move more than three inches across the stage” actually performing at anything other than a mass suicide? It just wouldn’t seem right to see her anywhere alongside the dynamic and interesting performers that, y’know, have made it in the recording industry.
Or one of her concerts. What would that be like? The audience sitting in wonder as they debate whether she’s turned into a mannequin mid-song and just begin counting people wearing green shirts because it’s more interesting than what’s happening onstage?
After this snoozer, that’s about all it would be. And the weird thing is that this was better than the first performance.
Grade: C
Candice Glover Sang “I Am Beautiful”
The Verdict:
Is there a law? Is there a rule? Is there a mandate that every single Idol single needs to be the most boring incomprehensible mind-blankingly dull piece of pop music put together?
This was clearly something submitted to Beyonce that she fell asleep during and probably fired three people for even suggesting. So dreadfully snoozy – though I guess that fits with what’s been happening on this show the last few weeks.
Candice does her best with it and she certainly sounds like a current recording artist as she attempts to overcome the melodic weight forced around her neck as this song sloughs through itself, but there’s just no overcoming the vacancy of this song.
Grade: C+
Keith Said: Wow. I think these songs were tailor made for these girls.
Nicki Said: I loved Kree’s composure and this sounded more from the gut. This song is perfect for Candice.
ROUND THREE: IDOLS’ FAVORITE PERFORMANCE
Kree Harrison Sang “Up To The Mountain” by Patty Griffin
Keith Said: This is your story. It’s all connected, baby. Absolutely beautiful.
Nicki Said: That energy is so uplifting.
Randy Said: That right there is a winning kind of performance.
The Verdict:
I can’t do it. I just can’t do it. I can’t review another dead-eyed same-faced dull Kree performance. Instead, let’s celebrate that my least favorite finalist in the history of the show is finally done performing on the competition shows once and for all.
It’s over, America! It’s over. No more Kree. No. More. Kree.
Sweet release!
Okay, she did some nice notes at the end, and her voice sounded as good as it has all season, but that’s not the point. No more Kree!
Kree at last. Kree at last. Good Lord almighty we are Kree at last.
Grade: B-
Candice Glover Sang “I (Who Have Nothing)” by Ben E. King
Keith Said: That song was like a planet exploding to life.
Nicki Said: What came across from you was “superstar”.
Randy Said: That girl can plum flat out sing. You just shot this whole night to a whole nother level. (Sadly, he didn’t say “In it to win it” one last time.)
The Verdict:
Candice just won. I mean seriously. If she doesn’t win after that, everything that’s wrong is right, everything that is up is down and everything that is light is dark. Basically nothing can truly exist if Candice loses after this.
Okay, that was melodramatic, but seriously. She obliterated that vocal in grand Candice fashion. She had one song left and she absolutely went for it. It was like a starting pitcher at an All-Star game who throws 100 on every fastball because he knows he’s only going a couple innings.
That was a 105-MPH vocal with all the power and fury that we’ve seen from Candice but with brilliant and graceful control that didn’t veer into theatrical Candice Land.
This was a masterful performance that made Angie’s not being included seem a little less tragic.
Grade: A-
That’s it. That’s all. Candice should win. Candice better win. Check back tomorrow as we break it all down with The ‘American Idol’ finale Mega-Diary.

Related: American Idol, Candice Glover, Kree Harrison, Starpulse Exclusives, Recaps, Reality, FOX, Reality (Talent)

Photo Credits: FOX

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