'The X Factor' Recap: The Groups Finish The Four-Chair Challenge
October 11th, 2013 8:58am EDT
The four chair challenge filled the last of its twelve vacant seats on Wednesday and Thursday night as it was Simon's turn to lay his now four eyes on the groups.
Simon in old professor's glasses has been a weird juxtaposition this year with the normally venomous Brit somewhat neutered by spectacles. It's as if he's gone from being Snape to McGonagall just by wanting to correct his vision.
So who did the less-scary Simon pick for the final four slots? Read on to find out.
Girls United Sang: "Tonight is the Night" by Outasight
Kelly Said: I applaud you for the harmonies.
Demi Said: I think it was a little on the young side.
Simon Said: You were well-rehearsed, but vocally I have heard a lot better.
The fact that it took me Googling other recaps of this show to figure out what in the world they were singing probably says it all. It was impossible to make out their lyrics. They had absolutely no harmony. None of the girls stood out because they were all equally horrific.
Or maybe it's just the fact that I've never heard of Outasight.
Either way. No good.
Wild Thingz Sang: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO
Kelly Said: You guys are all the way turned up.
Paulina Said: I really like that performance.
Demi Said: Can you guys stand still?
Simon Said: I don't know which one of you is more annoying. I don't think that was music. I think it was unintentional comedy.
Here's what stood about that performance:
It's unclear what the strategy was for that or how exactly they grow beyond an annoyance at a college party, but it'd be fun to find out.
Glamour Sang: "When I'm Gone" by The Carter Family
Kelly Said: I wish it was a little bit tighter, but I'm really proud of you guys.
Demi Said: I wonder if you're ready for the industry right now.
Simon Said: Instead of delivering something substantial like a three-course meal, you delivered a lollipop.
Hey! Who ordered Motown with a dash of current pop? I guess that would have been whoever chose Glamour to move through to the Four Chair Challenge.
Great arrangement on this old folk tune turning it into a Supremes song and the girls turned back the clock along with it with some fun choreography, cool harmonies and an abundance of positive energy that is just infectious.
This is the kind of fun these too-serious singing shows really needs.
Restless Road Sang: "Love Somebody Like You" by Keith Urban
Kelly Said: You are a great country trio. This was a brilliant idea.
Paulina Said: I'm really really proud of you.
Demi Said: I got chills all over my body because it's just so right.
Simon Said: I saw talent and friendship tonight. I'm really impressed.
Let's see...three good-looking country guys who can actually sing. I think we know who is winning this show. No reason even airing the rest of the season, Restless Road has this one locked down. It's almost impossible to imagine somebody beating them.
A country boy band? How come nobody's thought of that before?
Sweet Suspense Sang: "Wishing on a Star" by Rose Royce
Kelly Said: There's something special here.
Paulina Said: You guys look like superstars.
Demi Said: I'm so proud of you.
Simon Said: This is incredible.
Goodness. These three youngsters come out like En Vogue all over the stage. Super tight and crisp harmonies and a remarkable chemistry that doesn't usually exist in groups on this show: Usually it's just a bunch of solo singers.
These girls sounded like they'd been singing together for ages, and not just thrown together at auditions. Yes, there were some pitch issues and neither of them has remarkable voices, but together they mesh extremely well and sound better than they should.
Yellow House Canyon Sang: "Hell on Heels" by Pistol Annies
Kelly Said: I love you guys and I think you have such great energy.
Demi Said: I believe Tatum has a better voice. Christie has to work on her vocals.
Simon Said: You're not the best singers in the world, but you do bring an energy.
Country group number two definitely isn't as good as the first. Individually, neither can sing. They're fine for karaoke but as actual singers they don't make snuff with very weak voices that do nothing but semi-twang.
The problem is exacerbated when they attempt to harmonize. Strangely, they actually do manage to sing a type of harmony, but the voices that which they sing are so bad, that they're just harmonizing one non-singer on top of the other.
Like singing a round in 4th grade.
Forever In Your Mind Sang: "Lovebug" by The Jonas Brothers
Kelly Said: Too much of the cuteness outweighing everything else. They're missing a lead singer.
Paulina Said: I am not blown out by your performance.
Demi Said: I think it was the wrong song for you guys.
Simon Said: The song wasn't the good idea. We need a lot more work on the vocals.
Wow. These kids got it all. They're cute. They got style. They can move on stage. Everything a young singing group needs.
Except they can't sing. Can't sing at all. Off-key, woefully flat, pitchy, no sense of rhythm, just every vocal problem there is.
If these kids could sing they mighta won the whole damn show. As it stands, they'll have to join Stone singing in front of their One Direction posters.
Good News Sang: "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac
Kelly Said: I felt like you guys could be giving more.
Paulina Said: I don't think you guys are ready.
Demi Said: I don't think you're ready right now.
Simon Said: This just didn't work in the slightest.
It's hard to tell which was worse with these two hippie chicks. The complete inability to harmonize or their insistence on over-singing every inch of every note that came out of their mouths?
Well, the harmonizing was painful to listen to, but the oversinging was both painful to listen to and to watch as it came along with a lot of weird hand motions that are normally reserved for some sort of shadow theater.
So, it looks like the oversinging is the winner here. Though there really were no winners with Good News.
Alex and Sierra Sang: "You're The One That I Want" from 'Grease'
Kelly Said: I think you guys are so sexy.
Paulina Said: I belive in you guys as a couple and an artist.
Demi Said: I have to ask: What would happen if you ever broke up?
Simon Said: I really really like you. People are going to fall in love with you two.
Another useless show tune on this show. This one charted so it's a little more forgivable, but still - what's with the show tunes?
And what's with turning this show tune into a Sara Bareilles song? And why does it work so well? Why is this insufferable couple making something that should be causing eye rolls in a coffee shop somewhere into the best performance of the night?
Is black white? Is light dark? Is wet dry? We're through the looking glass with these two, people. Be afraid.
Roxxy Montana Sang: "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson
Kelly Said: I can see y'all did not come here to play no games.
Paulina Said: I did not expect that to be so tight and so so good.
Demi Said: I look around and see everyone on their feet. That does not happen very often.
Simon Said: We could make you incredible.
Great song choice. Great arrangement. Really solid singers. There's just a bit of a push over the edge missing from the trio. It's clear that they've got the chops to be on this stage, but to transcend it is unclear.
Maybe they're just a little too show choir-y. A good show choir, but one nonetheless.
Or maybe there's a bit of an identity crisis going on? They can't quite decide between going full R & B or staying in pop.
Whatever it is, there's a little something missing - but they've got the ability to get that back and really flourish on this show.
Photo Credits: Michael Becker / FOX