Recap: 'Married to Jonas' - Season One, Episode Four
This week’s episode of “Married to Jonas” is the episode when the cute little show about a young, famous, married couple became a true reality show. I’m not sure anything that happened on this episode could be considered REAL but it was perfect for reality television.
The opening was predictably adorable. Kevin and Dani waiting in line to get frozen yogurt just like everyone else and then getting recognized. Kevin was great with the fans and posed for pictures and joked around and then he and his wife got escorted to the front of the line. Proving once again that it pays to be married to a Jonas.
The rest of the episode followed two storylines: the Deleasa family wanting Dani’s dad Bucky to get healthy because he had a heart attack two years ago and really hasn’t changed his lifestyle at all and Kevin wanting trees put into his yard because houses are being built all around him and he wants some privacy. Father-in-law Bucky has a friend who is going to get Kevin trees and Kevin decides since he put up the Christmas lights by himself he can dig a five by five hole in his yard for the 35 foot tree to go into.
Oh wait, I almost forgot the third storyline that also fits right in with this week’s theme of “We’re a reality show, remember?” It’s Dani’s sister Dina’s 28th birthday and Kevin has offered the house up for the party without asking his wife. Dani gets annoyed but still ends up taking her sister out for facials. While the sisters are out, Dina tells Dani she’s living a ‘double life’, one where she’s just a newlywed trying to take care of her home and the other where she goes out to movie premieres. Thanks for the exposition, Dina. Now everyone knows the premise of the show.
Kevin digs this hole with a mini backhoe that he almost flips over. He doesn’t kill himself on it but he does take out part of his very expensive gate. Dani and Dina come home none too pleased to find the gaping, muddy hole in the yard where Dina’s birthday party is supposed to be. (I’m not liking Dina. She gets really upset about the hole possibly ruining her birthday without taking into account that it isn’t HER yard Kevin just ruined and he didn’t have to offer up his house for ANOTHER Deleasa party.)
Along with taking out part of the gate, Kevin almost hits brother-in-law Mikey in the head with the backhoe and in the spot where he decided to dig he ends up coming upon a sprinkler line. Ah the hilarity! (Kevin’s a bajillionaire – it wouldn’t have killed him to get landscapers to do this job but then E! wouldn’t have the great footage of him almost killing his wife’s brother.)
Kevin decides another thing he can do is grill for Dina’s party. Dina’s husband Brian is along to help and when he sees the hole in the yard he has the line of the evening, “Who did you kill?” Kevin’s response is good but really sounded scripted, “Dina’s dreams and Dani’s glory.”
Meanwhile we have Bucky, Dani’s unhealthy father. Because they catch him lying about what he eats (at the birthday party that ended up going well because Kevin turned the hole into a makeshift volcano by adding firecrackers to it, he was sneaking food and telling people he wasn’t) the family has an intervention at, you guessed it, Kevin and Dani’s house. Bucky thinks he’s coming for lunch but all of his kids, Kevin and his wife are there to yell at him about his eating habits. When he jokes that he’ll be up in heaven watching over them, youngest daughter Katie starts to cry which doesn’t seem to affect him at the moment but in confessional he admits that it got to him and he’ll try.
His daughters end up taking him to a Pilate’s trainer and Dani is surprised to find out how flexible her father is. After some joking around, Bucky actually seemed to get into the exercise. But if his history is any indication, it probably won’t last long. I wonder if the produces of the show (who I noticed this week include Kevin and Dani) will insist he gets into healthier living because they don’t want it to turn into “Going to a funeral with Jonas”?
In order to get the tree to fit in the yard, Paulie and his people have to take down the entire fence… which they did. So now Kevin has a tree that, presumably, blocks the view of his neighbors.
So to wrap this up: Kevin got his tree, Dina got her birthday party and Dani got her dad to go to one day of exercise. It was the episode that, so far, felt the most scripted and was the least interesting to watch. Hopefully next week gets back to the things that make for better television, like browbeating poor Dani into having a baby.