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'The Bachelor' Introductions Full of Drunken Drama and Broken Hearts

January 8th, 2013 11:12am EST

The Bachelor - Lindsay from Missouri Sean Lowe aka ‘the Ken doll’ is getting his second chance at love on The Bachelor after he had his heart broken by Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette. This season looks like it is going to be full of catty chicks, drunken drama and some silly moments like starting off the show zooming in on Sean’s buff body and his workout moves. As the first episode begins (after the half-naked scenes of Sean, that is) we are reminded how this sweet and shy man got his heart ripped out by Emily, who ultimately chose Ari over him. Clearly he is better off without Emily (as were Ari and Jeff) so we can confidently say, goodbye heartbreak and hello new ladies! Just as all the new bachelors say to the audience, they are ready to find their wife and make a solid commitment to the true love of their life, who they will find on the show. Most of the time we don’t really believe them but with Sean, we think this might just be his moment.
So, let’s meet these twenty five women! But first, remember Ari? Yup, apparently he and Sean are buddies now and he is here to offer his best dating advice. Isn’t he dating Ben’s ex, Courtney now? There was no mention of that…but there was some cheesy role playing moments between the two of them when Sean pretended to break up with Ari, and then took some kissing pointers from him. Awkward! How about them ladies?
In comes Chris Harrison, who reminds us that Sean is “sincerely ready to find his wife” and we can’t wait to meet these potential wives. First up is Desiree, or Des, the bridal stylist in Beverly Hills. As much as it is a cliché, she just may be the one for Sean and she probably already has the wedding dress. Tierra from Denver seems like she may just be a bit too sensitive, overly excited and a stage five clinger. Robyn from Houston seems like she may introduce herself to Sean via Post-it. Diana from Salt Lake City has two children, so if Sean picks her, he may get a big family right away. Sarah from Los Angeles has a challenge in life already, she is living with one arm and we know Sean will definitely not have any issues with that. Ashley from Michigan has no idea why she is still single but by the way she wants to reenact Fifty Shades of Grey with Sean right away, we can probably guess why…Lesley from DC seems like a classy, smart southern belle who will campaign for Sean’s heart. Kristy, the model already seems like she will eat the other girls alive. AshLee (we are not a fan of the spelling), the professional organizer seems like she already has plenty of baggage but is ready to leave the past behind and move forward.
Sean is waiting nervously as the first batch of ladies pull up in the limo. AshLee gets to meet the Bachelor first, and then Jackie from Florida steps up and plants a big kiss on Sean’s cheek. Selma, the Ashley Greene lookalike immediately wipes that kiss away. Leslie, the LA poker dealer seems a bit boring and Daniella tries to mix things up with a handshakes but it is an epic fail. The next limo pulls up and Kelly ‘too tan’ from Tennessee sings Sean a little diddy and embarrasses us all. Katie, the yoga instructor from North Carolina may have a shot is she changes up her hairdo. Ashley stays true to her word and pulls a tie out of her dress and asks him to teach her how to use it later. Weirdo! Taryn from Oregon is so nervous she forgets to tell him her name. Catherine from Washington is adorable and already wins us over, while Robyn tried to do a back handspring and falls on her face. Lacey from California brings Sean a lace heart and we are a little distracted by Paige’s occupation- a Jumbotron operator…really? She confesses to Sean that she was on The Bachelor Pad 3 which makes us believe that she is no stranger to drama. Tierra tells Sean that she has an open heart tattoo on her finger and hopes that he will be the one to complete it and he goes inside to grab the first impression rose. Snaps to the stage five clinger!
Amanda the fit model makes an awkward first impression and Sean doesn’t seem too impressed. Keriann tells Sean that she drove over two thousand miles to meet him and Des wants to make a wish in the fountain with Sean by tossing in a few pennies.
Sarah steps out of the limo and Sean seems blown away by her beauty while Brooke, the community organizer is overly affectionate with Sean. Diana doesn’t impress us as much with her first impression as Lesley from DC does, asking him to play some football, or just stare at his ass. We are still scratching our heads wondering how Kristy and Ashley are models?? Lauren from Rhode Island wants to feed Sean a big Italian dinner and lets him know that if he breaks her heart, her dad will break his leg. Not a very good start, Lauren. The crazy girl award for this season goes to Lindsay from Missouri, who shows up in a wedding dress and kisses Sean on the lips. We would have expected that from Des, but definitely nobody else. We are pretty sure she was wasted. Sean gets a little bonus as number twenty six steps out of her own limo- Kacie from Ben’s season! Ben seems happy to see her but the other girls are not happy at all. As much as we like her we have a feeling that this is a plea to be the next Bachelorette.
Sean seems to take a liking to Des and hands her the second rose of the night as AshLee comes back with the third rose. As Tierra tries to tell them that she still received the first impression rose, the girls shoot her down and tell her that it was just a rose. Meanwhile, Sean is having a hay day handing out roses left and right. We think he just likes creating tension and drama in the room. Lindsay in the wedding dress admits to us that she wishes she was sober right now….we called that one! Ashley is also drunk and starts shaking her booty all around the house before stealing Sean’s attention away from Paige. She tells Sean (as she slurs her words) that she knew from the minute he was dumped by Emily that he would be her husband one day. She even confessed to him that her mother calls him her son in law - too much information, Ashley. She takes a plunge down the stairs and we can confidently say her time is up here. As Taryn starts to get emotional and tell Brooke that she won’t fight over a guy, Sean comes over and steals Brooke away. Let the tears flow! Although she was extremely nervous, Sarah pulls Sean aside and talks about the fact that she was born with one arm and doesn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. She undoubtedly deserves the rose that she earned.
Although Sean already gave out twelve roses, he still has to take part in the first rose ceremony and give out seven more. Amanda the fit model gets the first rose at the ceremony, followed by Lesley from DC, Kacie, Kristy the Ford model, Daniella, Taryn and Lindsay the drunkass wedding dress chick. Apparently, the producers think that she will be an interesting attribute to this season because Sean didn’t seem too interested. Paige is upset that this is her third try at the Bachelor/Bachelor Pad and she failed (time to join Match.com, honey). Too tan Tennessee has to say goodbye as well and is shaken by the fact that she won’t be able win Sean’s affection.
Stay tuned for an exciting season as we watch Sean and the remaining ladies travel the world, go bungee jumping and duke it out for their man. Des has a man show up and fight for her and Tierra thinks that she is above everyone else. Will he find his future wife or will he go home empty handed?

Related: Emily Maynard, Sean Lowe, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Starpulse Exclusives, Television, TV Networks, ABC, Reality (Talent)

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Photo Credits: ABC

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