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MatthewJ Swanson MatthewJ Swanson
Starpulse Contributing Writer
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Top 10 Most Annoying TV Characters Of All Time

July 17th, 2013 1:00pm EDT
Joey from 'Blossom'
Yes, every show needs a heel, someone you love to hate, and those people can be important on a show. Indeed, a skilled actor can make a good living at that. But what about those who just annoy you to no end, the kind of character that makes your skin crawl every time they step into a shot or say one of their stupid catch phrases, and the ones who serve no purpose but to drive you absolutely nuts and annoy you in your nightmares long after their show has been cancelled? Those are the ones we would like to pay homage to today.

10. Joey from “Blossom”: All that needs to be said is “Whoa!” If ...
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Catching Up With 'The Bachelorette' And Her Pool Of Dork Contestants

June 10th, 2010 11:32am EDT
The Bachelorette Geek Squad
In case you’ve missed episodes from this season of The Bachelorette, we can catch you up by saying this: Ali prefers one organ on a man to be really, really big: . . . his brain. That’s right, she selected a mixed bag of complete nerds. Granted, once these guys get their shirts off, they’re all ripped, but never before has such a band of dorks been assembled on this program. It’s like Lambda Lambda Lambda in that house.

Here’s a quick, superficial, judgmental lowdown on the guys remaining just before the most recent episode aired:

Chris N: This guy is not good looking at all. He looks...
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The Scorpions Get Ready For Their Last Tour… Ever (Audio)

April 14th, 2010 4:30pm EDT
The Scorpions Get Ready For Their Last Tour
Having rocked arenas in four different decades, influenced countless other hard rock bands, and become perhaps Germany’s biggest rock band of all time, The Scorpions are embarking on their final tour. Ever.

Starpulse.com’s Matthew J. Swanson had the pleasure of talking with guitar legend Matthias Jabs about his start with the band, some of his most memorable moments in The Scorps, and his thoughts about hitting the stage one last time.

We had to make sure he was saying his name right, because if you read in the English language, it’s pronounced nothing like how it’s spelled. He then di...
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Have You Seen 'RuPaul's Drag Race?'

March 10th, 2010 4:08pm EST
drag race
Have you seen this thing? This is the second season of this show, but it’s new to me, so I’m going to break it down for you, as I was surprisingly sucked into it. It’s just what you would expect, unless you expected drag queens physically racing: a number of transvestites compete in various competitions until one diva with caked on makeup, lofty ambitions, and a pronounced Adam’s Apple is left standing.

The theme of this show, or at least the third of the episode I caught, was a drag wedding, and as the “ladies” were putting together their gowns, things got heated. Apparently everyone h...
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Is Latest Reality TV 'Little Miss Perfect' Right Or Wrong?

January 27th, 2010 10:22am EST
Little Miss Perfect
Each week, Little Miss Perfect follows two 5 or 6-year-old-ish little girls as they compete in a beauty pageant for kids called, oddly enough, Little Miss Perfect. Do these shows make little girls look like 17-year-old hookers at times? Perhaps. Do these moms and sometimes dads seem to care way more about this stuff than the kids do? Often times, yes. Is there any hope that these little girls could live a normal childhood? There is a good chance that they will live a life thinking they are, or what's worse, have to be, perfect. Yes it's weird, creepy, and wrong, but like every good r...
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Top 5 Coolest School Kids In TV & Film History

November 11th, 2009 12:00pm EST
Ferris Bueller
These are the big men on campus, guys you would like to hang out with, not just because they're cool guys, but because they have power; these kids get all the girls, they got their school principals by the balls, and most importantly, they have some serious clout.

5. Danny Zuco of the film Grease

Danny had a summer fling with a girl who looked like a heyday Olivia Newton John, she ended up going to his school the following school year, and he acted like he didn't know her, suggesting that she try the Yellow Pages to find who she was looking for. Cold blooded!

With the help of his ...
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Zombie Flicks Rarely Disappoint: 5 Not-To-Miss Films

October 2nd, 2009 9:05am EDT
Zombieland
All zombies want to do is rise from the dead and eat people, with a preference for brains. This is the sole motivation of the flesh-eating creatures, and yet we can watch them do this over and over, whether it's in a campy funny way as in Shaun of the Dead or the brand new Woody Harrelson film Zombieland, or even in an artistic way as in 28 Days Later. The psyche of the zombie is utterly simple. There's something about rotting, walking corpses biting into the necks of their victims and/or eating entrails that is utterly entertaining.

Check out our five favorite zombie films:

5) Zo...
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Top 10 Acting Performances By Athletes

August 27th, 2009 10:35am EDT
Cam Neely as Seabass
A director getting the optimum performance out of an actor is not unlike a coach getting a great performance out of an athlete. One has to use the right guy in the right scene with expert timing. These are situations where one could film countless scenes of all different kinds, and getting laughs so big with these athletes would seem impossible - they're almost perfect. Remember, the fellas on this list appear here because they got the biggest laughs, not because they were the best actors or in the best movies. While Something About Mary is a funnier and better movie than many on this l...
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Will Jillian Pick Ed Or Kiptyn On 'The Bachelorette' Finale?

July 24th, 2009 9:58am EDT
The Bachelorette
On Monday, Jillian, this season's Bachelorette, has to choose between the two remaining bachelors narrowed down from the initial thirty, Ed and Kiptyn. Who will she pick? Who knows? This woman seems be to making decisions based on whoever the producers want her to pick or just drunken, love-sick whims, so we're going to let you guys vote. She won't see your votes, and it's probably already happened, but vote anyways, just for the hell of it, but first, here's the tale of the tape . . .

Ed:

Pro's:

1. As a Technology Consultant, he sounds pretty successful, unless that title is...
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Wes: The Most Unlikable Jerk On 'The Bachelorette'

July 8th, 2009 9:13am EDT
Wes on The Bachelorette
Four bachelors remain on The Bachelorette, and Jillian had dates with all of them in the scenic Spain. The first three had something in common: they were all very, very boring. They discussed their dating philosophies and world views over fabulous romantic dinners paid for by ABC, and incidentally, can you really get a good idea about someone with this trend? Anyone looks pretty good on a date with candle-lit dinner with a gorgeous view when neither party is paying for squat. Not only that, when the check should come, instead a note comes saying they can go to the "Fantasy Suite," and g...
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