Have You Seen 'RuPaul's Drag Race?'
Have you seen this thing? This is the second season of this show, but it’s new to me, so I’m going to break it down for you, as I was surprisingly sucked into it. It’s just what you would expect, unless you expected drag queens physically racing: a number of transvestites compete in various competitions until one diva with caked on makeup, lofty ambitions, and a pronounced Adam’s Apple is left standing.
The theme of this show, or at least the third of the episode I caught, was a drag wedding, and as the “ladies” were putting together their gowns, things got heated. Apparently everyone hates one named Tyra, who was pasting on dress accents onto her bare skin with a hot glue gun and screaming like a girl. Well, I guess she is supposed to scream like a girl if she’s trying to be one, but this was really annoying. Besides, as one other drag queen pointed out, who uses hot glue on their own skin? The same guy/gal that pointed this out went on to say something like, “That’s right, bitch. Burn yourself.” This drag race was dangerously close to turning into a drag fight!
The contestants all came out in their dresses and pranced around, and it was about what you would expect, but then they showed wedding photos of them posing with the male versions of themselves in tuxedo’s, and that was just creepy. You have to really love yourself to want to put on outfits of both sexes to take a picture of you marrying yourself. What we really learned from this from seeing them as men next to the women versions of themselves is that it takes a really, really skinny man to be a somewhat convincing drag queen. So, as a woman they usually have manly bone structured faces and big “man hands,” and as men they are emaciated skinny. Either way, not ideal, but these drag queens seem to be loving life either way . . .
The judges picked the ones who faired the worst in the wedding bit, and, for those two, it was time to: “Lip sync for your life!” The winner would stay, and the loser would be cast off with Rupaul’s not-so-great catch phrase: “Sashay away?” They both did a good, enthusiastic job getting the judges’ attention, but ultimately the one who did a jump off the stage into a split was the winner. That really should have disqualified him or at least warranted an immediate genital check because how could he do that if he truly had a set of . . .
Anyway, this show is worth taking a look at because it’s doubtful you have seen anything like it. As for Rupaul, he/she is still prettier than around 70 or 80% of the contestants, but he/she is showing his/her age a little. After all, it was the early 1990’s that he/she had a hit. However, in his/her day, he/she would have been far, far more convincing than any of these contestants. Okay, that was a long way to go for that point, especially with all of those his/hers and he/she’s. Exhausting.
My only regret is that I didn’t see the episode just prior to this one, which was in a game show format: The Snatch Game. Biologically speaking, that just can’t be what it sounds like. It just can’t be . . .
You can catch RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo TV.
Matthew J. Swanson is a playwright, columnist, and a self-proclaimed expert on "lots of useless crappola," currently residing in Chicago, Illinois. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or check out his (almost) daily posts at www.thegancer.blogspot.com.