Top 10 Most Annoying TV Characters Of All Time

July 17th, 2013 1:00pm EDT

Joey from 'Blossom' Yes, every show needs a heel, someone you love to hate, and those people can be important on a show. Indeed, a skilled actor can make a good living at that. But what about those who just annoy you to no end, the kind of character that makes your skin crawl every time they step into a shot or say one of their stupid catch phrases, and the ones who serve no purpose but to drive you absolutely nuts and annoy you in your nightmares long after their show has been cancelled? Those are the ones we would like to pay homage to today.
10. Joey from “Blossom”: All that needs to be said is “Whoa!” If you remember him donning a curly mullet, wearing an array of gaudy vests, and uttering that gut-wrenching catch phrase, then you know why no list such as this is complete without Joey. It seems as if he modeled his character after a younger and even dumber Rocky Balboa because he seems to somehow be going for more of an Italian vibe than the rest of the family, and definitely stupid, but what he achieves is a shining bright light of annoyingness on a show when most everyone is annoying in their own right. Whoa, Joey! That’s impressive.

9. Dr. Zachary Smith from “Lost in Space”: Conniving, backstabbing, self-serving, and pretty much always selling out the whole crew by siding with any old Martian, Dr. Smith was downright awful. He was always getting busted going against the others, yet the crew never took him out back and shot him with a laser gun, or had the big robot attempt choke him to death with his disproportionate tiny arms. Instead, they kept him around to nearly get them killed week-ater-week, and what’s worse, they trusted him with the little kid. Why were those two always hanging out, anyway? The answers to that are perhaps the subject of a different list all together . . . Jonathan Harris was only supposed to be on the show for a few episodes, and because he was the last one casted and not in the pilot episode, he was placed last in the credits. This upset Harris, and he insisted he be listed as the “Special Guest Star” in every episode, so even the actor was a pain in the butt!

8. Ross Geller from “Friends”: David Schwimmer was stuck playing Ross, the whiney love-sick paleontologist, for ten seasons, but at over a million an episode can you really blame him? Schwimmer isn’t a bad actor and can be pretty likeable in other roles, such as playing himself on “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” but here he played third fiddle to Chandler and Joey who each got triple the laughs he did. Actually, all three of the women were funnier than him too, so that pretty much made him the 6th funniest Friend. Hell, the bald guy at the coffee shop usually got a few zingers in, while Ross just whined about things and pretty much sucked in most every way.

7. Andrea Zuckerman from “Beverly Hills 90210”: She was nerdy, unattractive, and uninteresting, yet she held on hope that she could woo the more popular Brandon while working late nights on the school paper. The fact that she looked 42-years-old was not helping her chances either. In fact, the actress, Gabrielle Carteris, was 29-years-old while portraying a 16-year-old. Those scenes of her pining for Brandon Walsh are just downright creepy to watch when you think about it. Who ever cared about her character? After they had the stroke of genius of having David Silver’s friend accidently blow his head off because his character wasn’t going anywhere, it’s surprising they didn’t come up with a similar fate for Andrea; perhaps her hair getting caught in the printing press? An even easier way out would be to have the dean of West Beverly Hills High School discover that she was a 29-year-old trying to enroll in a high school to sleep with kids at the school newspaper. That episode would have been awesome.

6. Thurston Howell the III (The Millionaire) from “Gilligan’s Island”: Mr. Howell, you have been on this island for years now, eating coconuts every day and wiping with leaves like the rest of them, so when are you going to drop the whole prestigious millionaire bit? Your money is no good on the island, and come to think of it, you’re no help either. The professor is trying to make radios out of bamboo shoots, and most everyone else is making attempts to get off the island, but meanwhile you and your equally worthless wife, who you so annoyingly refer to as “Lovie,” are just settling in your crappy hut “mansion” like it’s a damn country club. You suck, Thurston Howell the 3rd. It’s hard to imagine being stranded on an island with that guy when the three-hour tour alone with him would have seemed like an eternity.

5. Joe and Curly Joe from “The Three Stooges” (a tie): This is the only slot of the list before the 1960’s, and although it’s not quite a television show, since they were originally aired as short films shown before movies, because of so many years on television, it qualifies as a television show. The years with Curly were obviously the golden age of the “Stooges,” but the years have proven that Shemp was pretty damn funny and highly underrated. However, without Curly or Shemp, we were left with the likes of Joe and Curly Joe. Joe was bad enough because of his constant whining and his pacifist stance messing up the rhythm of the three of them beating the crap out of each other, but Curly Joe’s attempt to look, act, talk, and even having the balls to have the same name as the immortal Curly, who many believe to be a comic genius, was downright offensive to their faithful fans. Any episode with either of these two schlubs is pretty much unwatchable.

4. Pete Campbell from “Mad Men”: Loads of people watch AMC’s “Mad Men,” but you never hear someone say that they tune in for Pete. He is just about the only principal character not to win an Emmy, and there is a reason: he isn’t a very good actor. Everyone else embodies their role so well that you forget they are acting, whereas you’re always aware this guy is acting because he is just so phony and one dimensional and no one talks or acts the way this guy does. Also, the character defines everything it means to be a weasel, and he even looks a little weasel-like. Just look at him!

3. Snarf from “Thundercats”: Cheatara was faster than hell and pretty damn hot for a cartoon, Lion-O could look into his sword to see all kinds of stuff and beat people up, and basically all of the Thundercats could kick major ass when the chips were down. Then there was Snarf, the scarredy cat who contributes nothing, and what’s worse, says his own name “Snarf” in between just about every word. How annoying would that get when you have important stuff to do like trying to thwart the plans of the diabolical Mumra? As the only animated member of the list, edging out Orko from “He-Man,” Snarf deserves due credit for sucking up an otherwise pretty cool cartoon. To be fair, it should be put the way only Snarf would say it: He, snarf, sucks, snarf.

2. Screech from “Saved By the Bell”: Just why in the world did the popular kids at Bayside roll with the biggest nerd in the school, and not just a nerd, but perhaps the most obnoxious human being on planet earth? While it is true that Dustin Diamond was not given any funny lines to say because the best writers didn’t seem to work for Saturday morning sitcoms, but Dustin had a way of making every word he said terrible. His voice cracked, he made stupid looking faces, and he was just plain hard to watch. Anyone who saw him on “The Biggest Loser” or his foray into the porn industry knows that he was a total jerk in real life, perhaps trying to act tough to get out of being type casted as the harmless nerd that he portrayed on TV all those years, but sadly, his character and his real personality both suck equally.

1. Harriet from “Small Wonder”: No list of annoying characters is complete without including someone from perhaps the most annoying television show ever recorded. You have to hand it to Harriet to emerge on top on a virtual annoyance dream team of a show. A lot of neighbors were in consideration, such as Kimmy Gibler from “Full House,” Urkle from “Family Matters,” and Lenny and Squiggy from “Leverne and Shirley,” but she out annoyed all of them too. Being obnoxious just seemed to come naturally to that kid; You just can’t coach that type of innate talent. This is one of those times where you have to just tip your cap to that gingery pain in the ass kid from next door.

Honorable Mentions in No Particular Order:
- The dad on “Alf”- Larry Appleton from “Perfect Strangers.” (Balki tried to be annoying but was kind of endearing, but this dude was annoying without even trying.)
- Urkle from “Family Matters” (A lot of people want him on the list, but he is a guy who got a few laughs on a show where NO ONE else got laughs, so it wasn’t at all his fault that his show sucked).
- Janice Soprano from “The Sopranos”
- Whitley Gilbert from “A Different World”
- Delta Burke on “Designing Women”
- Joffrey from “Game of Throwns”
- E. from “Entourage”- 6 on ‘Blossom”
- Buddy on “Charles in Charge”
- Mr. Belvedere (or Wesley from “Mr. Belvedere”)
- Janice from “Friends”
- A.J. from “The Sopranos”
- Rog’ or Dee from “What’s Happening!”

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© 2013

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