10 Songs That Should Never Be Played In Your Car With The Windows Down

May 25th, 2013 12:06pm EDT

Bow Wow Spring is finally in full swing, and that means that it’s prime season for driving around with the windows in your car down, blasting whatever music you enjoy playing loudly and annoying others with. There are a few songs that you should avoid playing while the windows are down at all costs, however:
10. “Bow Wow” Lil Bow Wow

Apparently, Lil’ Bow Wow is just Bow Wow now. Well, hopefully when he lost the Lil’ moniker, he also lost this song with it. Easily one of the worst rap songs ever, even considering the fact that it was sung by a child, this song should not be played by anyone anywhere ever.

9. “Ebony and Ivory” Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder

Where to begin with this one? This disastrous duet was produced by none other than George Martin, the same man who produced the Beatles records. Stevie and Paul do not mesh together at all, and the lyrics are so cliche and corny that they would probably sound more at home at a middle school play than being sung by two of the greatest songwriters ever.

8. “Truly Madly Deeply” Savage Garden

Playing this song with the windows down will probably inspire everyone around you to think that you’re having a hard time adjusting after a terrible breakup, or that you need to breakup with your terrible taste in music.

7. “Wannabe” Spice Girls

The real truth of it is that the only people who would play this in their car with the windows down are teenage girls imitating a bad “Glee” episode or young adults listening to it for nostalgia sake. There were plenty of other great pop hits from the 90’s to be nostalgic about, however, and what most “really really want” is to never have to hear The Spice Girls ever again/

6. “You’re Beautiful” James Blunt

James Blunt utters the phrase “you’re beautiful” far less times in this song than most would think. However, every time after the first is too many. It may not be the worst song ever, but it’s been overplayed to the point where it’s getting to be. For extra credit, check out the Kenny G. version. It’s somehow worst and better at the same time.

5. “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off (To Have a Good Time)” Jeramaine Stewart

It’s hard to look cool blasting a song about abstinence. This song is undeniably catchy in all the worst ways, but seriously, playing this song with the windows down will never make you look cool, ever.

4. “Rhythm of the Night” El DeBarge

This song is practically a check list of every terrible 80’s song cliche. Guy who sounds like Michael Jackson, check. Terrible synth riff, check. Only keyboards, check. The worst part of all of it though is how easy it is to get stuck in your head. Playing this song loudly is like waging audio warfare on the general public: it’s going to mess with their heads and prevent them from functioning properly.

3. “Nookie” Limp Bizkit

There are lots of songs with terrible lyrics on this list, but all of those pale in comparison to the lyrical disaster that is “Nookie.” Seriously, people in middle school have better lyrical writing capability than Fred Durst.

2. “Escape” Rupert Holmes

If you’re having a midlife crisis, this is the perfect song for you. If not, there’s no other reason to listen to it.

1. “Mr. Roboto” Styx

Ever wonder what would happen if the biggest nerd you knew wrote the most pretentious song ever? Well, “Mr. Roboto” by Styx is that song, a song that is not content with only featuring awful lyrics in English, but also Japanese as well. Better yet, it features a stabbing keyboard riff that is the audio equivalent of being stabbed by an icepick, and Dennis DeYoung’s terrible falsetto. That alone should be enough to warrant this song from being playing in a car, let alone anywhere ever.
Do you think that any of these songs are the best songs to play in your car? Did you do it all for the nookie? Do you think that you do have to take your clothes off to have a good time? If so, sound off in the comments.

Related: Bow Wow, James Blunt, Spice Girls, Starpulse Exclusives, Music, R & B, Rap/Hip-Hop, Pop, Alternative, Funny, Evergreen

Photo Credits: Janet Mayer / PR Photos

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