'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Spaghetti Western & Meatballs
Teresa is having a cooking demonstration at what looks like a Bed Bath and Beyond to make grumpy middle-aged people kale bruschetta, when cousin Kathy stops by for a chat. Teresa tells her about everything that happened at the Milania Haircare party the night before with Penny and Jan, and is confident that things are alright with her and Melissa. After all, Penny told her and Joe that she had nothing to do with the cheating rumors.
But over at the Gorga mansion, Melissa and Joe are singing a different tune. As they pack for their trip to Arizona, they discuss how they’re both still uneasy about hanging out with Teresa since her behavior with Penny at the Milania party pretty much sealed the deal that they believe she started the cheating rumors.
Joe and Melissa pack for their trip to the spa in Arizona, but they’re still both uneasy about hanging out with Teresa, especially after the party, have a feeling she has something to do with the rumors. They’d even rather hang out with Joe Giudice at this point.
As for the long journey to Arizona, the Gorga-Wakile-Giudice family gets there with no problems and in style, in enough time to tan in the sunshine and get tipsy. The Manzo-Lauritas are stuck in Jersey for hours, and it looks like hell.
The spa itself is very earthy, very zen-like, with open spaces everywhere. Being from Jersey, everyone is worried about scorpions and coyotes attacking, but they get over it quickly. Richie has a problem with the spa’s quiet areas and farts in protest.
Poor birthday girl Melissa starts coming down with some kind of mystery illness the minute the plane lands, and it takes her away from a lot of the group activities. “I’m dying Joe, I’ve never felt pain like this before,” she says to her husband about her sore throat. He reminds her that she’s had three babies and continues to party.
But Joe, husband of the year (and I say that without too much sarcasm) still thinks his upset wife is sexy as HELL when she’s sick, he “doesn’t even care, he’ll catch all her diseases.”
Things get weird and not very vacation-like when the spa sends an “energy healer” to the villa for some nighttime entertainment after dinner. “Energy healer” is a fancy word for “psychic medium,” and she’s here to ruin everyone’s night by talking to their dead relatives. At first, they make fun of her, but then she starts focusing in on some spot-on details. She says something about Richie’s father that’s apparently so true, that it makes him burst into tears.
She then gets Rosie and Kathy’s father, who finally tells Kathy that he loves her, which is a big deal because he never said that on his death bed, and it’s been haunting Kathy ever since. Hearing it from the medium gave her validation. Fun birthday for Melissa?
But girlfriend gets some me-time when the whole group minus-her goes hiking the next day out in the desert with a really perky tour guide for a “reflective journey.” By that, I mean at one point they reach a field where there a bunch of gongs lined up, and they write down on a piece of paper something they’re “letting go,” then they burn it with sage.
Sure. Whatever. When it’s Teresa’s turn, she calls up a bunch of people, instead of just burning the paper like EVERYONE ELSE, because she’s thirsty for attention. She apologizes to Jacqueline again, in a very sweet moment. But then, makes a very, very odd comment about karma…coming back to your children.
Sorry, was that a dig at sweet little Nicholas?
Is it on again?
- Gia throwing out her mom’s string bikinis because she’s going to embarrass herself dressing like a tramp. “It’s going up your butt. You’ll look like Rihanna!”
- Not to discredit mediums, but isn’t it VERY possible that the one who visited the villa has seen this show before so she could pull that info about there being negative energy between Melissa and Teresa? Melissa sure wasn’t buying it.
Melissa: “I can’t wait to get into a bathing suit”
Joe: “I can’t wait to get into something”