'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' Recap: Baby Shower Blues
September 30th, 2013 2:02pm EDT
The Kardashians are back from their hiatus and they’d like to take this opportunity to talk to you about camel toe for an hour. Khloe goes to the gym with Kylie and one of her friends and discusses the problem in great length, to which the youngsters have never dealt with – things are just always SO UNFAIR for Khloe!
But she has to put her personal problems aside for a teensy bit to help Kourtney back at home. The sisters are throwing Kim a surprise baby shower, and they’re going all out when it comes to planning. Here’s the best part: the guests will all receive a copy of Kanye’s new album as their party favor. How nice.
Kylie walks in on Bruce cleaning his handgun and is now curious about how it works. Way to be late to the game, little Jenner. Bruce, thrilled that literally anyone is interacting with him, tells her he’ll let her use the gun if she goes to the shooting range with him. Later on, Kylie casually mentions this to her mother.
Since Kris is a harpy from space here to ruin anything not immediately about her, she flips out when she remembers that there’s a gun in the house. She drags Kylie around the house to look for the gun safe so they can get rid of the firearm and finally feel safe again. Bruce gently reminds her that when he bought the gun about three episodes ago, she had a hissy fit and refused to know where the safe was kept, or the combination, because she never wanted to be able to use the gun.
Well, that was three episodes ago, Bruce. Kris is a different, worse woman now. She wants the gun, but Bruce will only give her the code if she goes to a shooting range and takes a safety course. She does so very begrudgingly, and it’s embarrassing for her – she just can’t do the common sense test because she doesn’t want to be around guns. Lady, it’s called common sense because everyone has it. Just take the test.
Meanwhile, Khloe and Kourtney attend one of Kim’s photoshoots for sisterly support and casually ask her about her dream baby shower. As it turns out, she doesn’t want one at all. There is nothing she would hate more in the world than having a baby shower. Uh oh. She doesn’t want more attention (HA) and she doesn’t need any presents, so there’s no point. But the girls really want to throw this fancy party for their sister, so they’ve got some convincing to do. Call in Kris.
At their mom’s house, they all gather around and oh-so-subtly look at a photo album of Kourtney’s baby shower for Mason together, then watch a video of Kris’ baby shower when she was pregnant with Rob. The peer pressure works and Kim agrees to have the damn party already. Something about cherishing this memory forever with her loved ones who didn’t coerce her into doing this.
Back to the camel toe subplot. Khloe’s struggles with camel toe are apparently infamous family lore. She will not stop talking about it, nor will she deal with it like a normal person and just wear a longer shirt/not wear yoga pants. She talks about it at Kourtney’s pajama party, with Lamar, and at the gym.
It’s to the point where Kourtney buys her a special CT-eliminating product that’s basically a cup for ladies. She tests it out at their trampoline aerobics class (of course they go to a trampoline aerobics class) and it’s nightmarishly uncomfortable – it’s a piece of plastic shoved up her crotch, what did she expect? Khloe decides to be herself and let everyone else be damned. Good for her?
Somehow, Kris passes her gun safety course and is granted the access code to the almighty safe. After seeing her wave the gun around like it’s nothing, it’s a blessing that nobody in that house was ever shot. She takes the gun outside on the patio and puts it in a Tupperware container, then actually goes to the trouble of encasing it in quick-drying cement. Guns are extremely expensive. Also, Bruce is her husband and she shouldn’t mess with someone she loves like that. How terrible.
To really drive home how awful she’s being, Bruce comes home with a surprise – a new, pearl-finished handgun for his beloved since she’s finally taken an interest in one of his hobbies. Too bad she just crushed all of his dreams. Get a divorce. Get a divorce now. She doesn’t care about you, Bruce. His only reaction is to tell her that he’s going to hide this gun better from her.
After some minor freakouts about information leaks and paparazzi, Kim’s baby shower day finally arrives, and the whole affair is gorgeous. It’s held at their Aunt Shelli’s mansion, where Khloe and Lamar got married, and it looks like a fairy wonderland. All the girls wear flower crowns and white dresses. The only problem was that Lamar and Scott were tasked with one simple chore: to meet up with Kanye before heading over to the party so they could arrive together and he’d have company.
They forgot Kanye. Fortunately, Kanye is a grown man who can hack it at events, so he shows up with some of his own family members, all smiles. Everything’s perfect for the whole family. I mean, except for Bruce. But who’s counting him?
- It was a blink and you’ll miss it comment, but Khloe made a remark about how Rob joked that he and Lamar “circle-jerked” it to her while she was sleeping. Doesn’t it seem like Rob tends to make a lot of off-handed sexual remarks about his sister, that really should not be made? This is creepy, right?
- Khloe, on planning the baby shower: “Obviously we have to do all white. We can’t do colors because Kim might die.”
Related: Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Scott Disick, Starpulse Exclusives, Recaps, Television, Reality, TV Networks, E!
Photo Credits: NBC Universal, Inc.